I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. Weddings are the ultimate profession of love, if you ask me. Back in my college days, I fervently watched shows like Bridezilla, My Fair Weddings by David Tutera, Say Yes To the Dress, and Four Weddings. Some weddings were over the top, some modest, some DIY, and some were as casual as a beer pong game. No matter the budget, all brides just wanted their special day to be perfect and I knew one day I wanted that too. Aside from the entertainment factor, I absolutely loved seeing couples say ‘I Do.’ But as I reflect, I can’t help but wonder, at what cost?
As a college alum, paying back student loans and affording life’s expenses were already daunting. So the idea of spending 50k on a wedding was never an option for me. When my husband proposed, I only had store credit cards, that I didn’t carry balances on, so the thought of paying for the wedding with anything but cash never crossed my mind. Then, while on family vacation, a family member talked to me about getting an American Express Travel Card to pay for wedding expenses. I thought it was clever because I could use the accumulated miles to pay for travel and I was already disciplined to pay cash after making store purchases. I thought, why not?
After a recommendation from a friend, we decided to look into a destination wedding versus a traditional one in hopes of cutting down wedding expenses. We looked at many beautiful destinations, but chose Puerto Rico for three reasons: it was a US Commonwealth, so no need for extra rules like arriving on island early for blood tests, etc; no passport requirements, so guests could skip that additional expense; and my fiancé wasn’t a fan of the ‘destination wedding workaround.’ Some destination couples avoid jumping through hoops to meet non-US wedding requirements by quietly getting married in the US, prior to leaving for their destination wedding. They then have the destination wedding ceremony where family and friends can witness their nuptials. This was an option I pitched to my then fiancé but he wasn’t a fan, so Puerto Rico it was. We certainly didn’t save money the way I thought we would have.
To save on cost, I opted not to have a wedding planner and planned the wedding myself with the use of Weddingwire, a wedding planning tool. We decided on the day before Valentine’s. I read on a couple of blogs that floral decor was usually cheaper if the florist had an excess of flowers not sold for the holiday. Well that was not the case and sharing flowers with another bride to save on cost didn’t happen either. I’m not sure if the location mattered, and that’s why those hacks didn’t work for us, but they were epic fails. The wedding also happened during Puerto Rico’s peak season so prices were actually higher than usual. We cash flowed our wedding and when it was all said and done, we spent close to 30k.
Have you heard of buyer’s remorse? Well, I had wedding remorse. As sad as that sounds, despite the wedding being beautiful and guests having a blast, it took me about a year after our wedding to not feel ill over the price tag. For many, 30k may seem like a small price to pay but when it sank in that we saved that much for a wedding and still had student loans, a car note, and we weren’t communicating well about finances, it was a perfect storm. Since then, my husband and I have grown so much in how we communicate about finances. The process of being consumer debt-free challenged our outlook about money for the better.
Fast forward to present day with COVID-19 on the rise. Businesses, for the most part, have reopened and people are adjusting to this new norm. For many, COVID-19 has impacted the ability to experience special moments and the level of social interactions with family and friends that we all were accustomed to having. During the initial outbreak of COVID-19, we attended virtual events such as baby showers, birthday parties, a wedding, baking classes, a fruit carving class, exercise classes, business meetings, and playdates just to name a few. Despite the current climate, you can still celebrate your nuptials while sticking to a budget. Here are four tips to pull off a beautiful wedding during the pandemic:
- Keep Things In Perspective
Marriage is between two people. So if your goals as a married couple won’t align with having all the bells and whistles for a wedding, don’t fret. I know it’s hard to hear but your wedding should be a symbol of you both starting a journey together. Perspectives, goals, and financial means will vary for each couple so comparing situations isn’t a 1:1. Stay focused, stay unified, and stay inspired! Your goals and dreams are bigger than your now. So don’t feel obligated to defer or cancel them to appease anyone or any unrealistic ideals.
- Create A Realistic Budget
I know this sounds daunting but it is necessary. Don’t let the cost of a wedding put you in a bind. Research the cost of vendors and services to get an initial idea of how you should budget. According to Weddingwire, “Over 80% of couples set a rough budget before researching any vendors.” Don’t let unpreparedness burst your budget before you’ve even gotten started. This is an awesome activity to do as a couple because it sets the tone for your relationship after the wedding. Working together to create a budget and then communicating statuses keeps the lines of communication open and gets you both in the habit of good financial habits. Estimate your expenses and stick to it together.
- Cash Flow Your Wedding
Paying cash for a wedding allows for peace of mind. We saved the cash and used a credit card to pay some of the vendors. It worked out for us in the end because we had the cash readily available to pay the credit card after purchases. However, doing business that way is risky so be fully knowledgeable about the pros and cons if you do decide to do that. The feeling of owing creditors after celebrating your nuptials seems daunting; and being a newlywed will have its own challenges. So avoid adding more things into the mix.
- Consider Downsizing
With social distancing being socially acceptable, having a smaller guest list is the way to go. Just be on the lookout for additional cost from vendors such as cake cutting fees, separate pricing for chairs, tables, etc. Believe it or not, we had an intimate sized wedding but we had things like a pre-cocktail prior to the ceremony commencing, a cocktail hour, dinner, desserts, live entertainment, and open bar for the entire wedding time. All these factors were huge contributors to the price tag going up, not to mention fees per chair, and tables, etc. I absolutely loved our wedding venue and, if I had to choose, I would do it all over again. The difference this time is the freedom of being debt-free.
With the world still re-establishing what the new normal looks like, why not establish your own norm? Family and friends will certainly understand. So ditch the old way of tying the knot and win big. Happy saving love bugs!
